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Showing posts with label REMIDIES. Show all posts
Showing posts with label REMIDIES. Show all posts

SWAY


Sorry for all the blurry picture...


I miss this city now..really miss it 

Yesterday I was really wondering why my mood was really really really down.. Yeah yesterday was not so me..And here I am typing anything that pop up in my mind.. There's a lot of thing I wanna share here but now I don't know where they gone :(  So guess you know how bad was my emotion now :}

I wanna move to some place again but still on planning..ya I can't stay static in one place like forever even I was in my hometown. But when I was away then the home really the place that I miss ..efff


really miss this place :( 


The place that make my mind calm 

How I wish I was here now..err sound impossible :p

Err let stop this sway mood 

Move on..cheer up dear me :)

Deeper thought

I tried to overdose on pills,my mum had died when I was five and my dad had cancer. I was stupid and in deep depression.I used to self harm and I would not listen to anyone and I would not smile at all. I got in all sorts of trouble. I had no hope in myself, I would sit around at night crying to myself to take my life away. Because I thought there was no point of me living. I didn't believe I could get up on my feet again. I had planned to do it again but one of my friends told me that there is no point taking my life away. Because I'm still young.Someday from now I could have a family, a job, go on holidays, meet new people and
make my dreams come true.

His speech made me realize that what I was thinking was just a quick decision I made because I gave up, because I didn't trust in myself, I didn't have hope. I then thought back. All those people who would miss me.Even when it wasn't so obvious, I could see who would miss me. I started to think of all
 the happy moments I had before that event in my life. I used to be happy. I used to be proud.I started asking myself "what happened?" that was when I realized I can still make things right. I would start to get up on my feet, and if I fell? I would stand up again. I would outpace all the bad memories and
overcome this darkness that was lingering around me. I started having hope of better times.

I started saying to myself "Stay strong, I can go through this" I am now starting again with my life even though it's not that easy, But I got high hopes which get me back to where I started.Before that event. The world keeps spinning around and I need to catch up. Someday, I know that I will look back and be proud of what I did. That I dealt with this problem ina good way. Self harm and pills are not the good choice. So all of you who have doubts in your self, just take a step forward and then another, keep going until you reach
that goal in life. Not suicide but the urge to live. Look around, all those friends you have, your family.
 Even when you get those lies pushed into you, just forgive, I know it's hard but I finally made up my mind to forgive everyone who used to give me lies. So put away your knife and put away those pills.Talk to a friend or member of family. Try to overcome this need of death.Think positively, think of the future and think of what awaits you if you live.Take a deep breath and be proud of who you are. Be strong because I know that at the end of the day you are stronger than you were and you can face another day.Not
alone but together.

Living with sadness

“What if I don’t get up?” he said to sadness.
“What if I just live in my sleep from this moment on?
“You can’t do that, Jonathan,” sadness
whispered. “I’m sorry,
but it’s time to get up.”
He wondered why he had to feel this
way. This empty. The last thing he felt
as he fell into bed was sadness. Each
morning, it was sadness who woke him.
“Why don’t I love you?” Jonathan asked.
“We spend every day together, but I
never get used to having you around.”
“You’re not meant to love me.” sadness
replied. “That’s not how it works. If you
loved me, you’d never let me go, even
when it’s my time to leave you.”
“But I’m so lonely. Perhaps I should
love you, perhaps we can make it
work,” Jonathan said. “Would you love
me back if I learned to love you?”
Sadness lay still, pondering. “I too want
to be loved, but not like this. Not as
sadness. I’m like a caterpillar,
Jonathan. One day I’ll be something
new. Something beautiful. No longer
sadness, but joyfulness. Like a butterfly,
you’ll be delighted at my company. But
first I have to go away. I have to let the
change happen.
“Why don’t you go now?” he asked.
“Please go, I can’t bear having you
around like this. You tuck me into my
sleep. You wake me up each morning.
You follow me around throughout the
day. Please go away, sadness. Please.”
“I can’t,” sadness replied, crying. “I’m
so sorry Jonathan, but I can’t, not yet.”
“When, then?”
“Soon. Soon I’ll be gone. You’ll wake up
without me. For days. For weeks. For a
long time, and one day I’ll return
transformed. No longer as sadness, but
as joyfulness.”
Jonathan cried. His pillow holding his
heavy head, but nothing could hold his
heavy heart. “I long for joyfulness,” he
mumbled through his tears.
Sadness stood up, walked around the
bed, pulling back the covers. “You need
to get up now.”
Jonathan pulled the pillow over his
head. Trying to hide, although he knew
he couldn’t. He asked again, “Why can’t
I love you sadness . . . I just want to be
in love.”
“Don’t ever love me, Jonathan.” sadness
said softly, but sternly. “If you do,
you’ll never let me leave.”
“Then go, please. Leave me alone, I beg
you; leave, without another word.”
“Come,” sadness said, “It’s time for you
to get up now.”

Ashley’s Tragic Story


What you are about to read is perhaps the most heartbreaking story that I have ever come across. It is so tragic that I am not even quite sure how to introduce it. Some time ago, a reader named Ashley sent me an email that described the nightmare that she has been living through over the past year. Ashley's email was very different from the vast majority of emails I usually receive, and I wrote her back right away and asked her some questions. One of the most important questions I asked was whether or not she really wanted me to share her story with the public. Privacy is such a precious thing, and I wanted her to understand that if I shared her story that thousands upon thousands of people would end up seeing it. After considering what I had to say, Ashley said that she was 100% sure that I should share her story because she felt that it could really help some people.
Sometimes it can be really easy to get lost in the economic numbers and to forget that this economy is really and truly destroying lives. The truth is that there are millions of Americans out there today that are hurting just like Ashley is. Her story is more dramatic than most, but that doesn't mean that we all don't know someone that could use our help. We have lost our sense of community in America, and thousands upon thousands of people like Ashley are falling through the cracks.
I cannot even imagine going through the things that Ashley has had to go through over the past year.  If you think about it, please say a prayer for her.  Also, let this story be an inspiration to all of us to stop being so cold-hearted and to help out those in need that are all around us.
The following is Ashley's story as told in her own words....
*****

My name is Ashley. I live in Upstate New York I have been reading your Economic Collapse blog for the past year. Everything that you have said is true. Our economy is dying, and the economic collapse has destroyed the lives of many, many people. I should know. I am one of them. I lost my house, my car, my feet and my father, all in just seven months.
My father and I had a great life together. He raised me as a single parent. My mother died while giving birth to me. So it was just him and me as I was growing up, and things were wonderful for us, but then everything changed.
In September of 2009, my father was laid off from his job after 26 years. He tried so hard to find another job, but he just couldn't get one. The economy was too horrible. As a result of the loss of income, he was unable to continue making the mortgage and car payments. Our car was repossessed, and not long after that, the bank foreclosed on us and we lost our house.
We moved into a low rent, hole in the wall apartment and lived off of his savings and his unemployment benefits for the next few months. Finally, in December of 2009, I was lucky enough to get a part time job at a pizza place. It was a really long walk from our apartment, but we needed the money badly. So I took the job.
By mid winter, my old snow boots, which had successfully lasted me through several terrible winters, were beginning to rapidly deteriorate. They had holes all over them and they were splitting at the seams. My feet were soaked and freezing all day long. At that point, we were lucky to have food on the table. We had to watch every penny. We couldn't afford to get me new boots. So I had to make do with the ones I had. My father worked feverishly to try and repair them. He spent hours supergluing them duct taping them. In addition to that, I doubled up on socks and wore plastic bags inside my boots, but nothing did any good. My feet still got drenched.
One morning, in mid February of 2010, I took the last walk I would ever take on my own two feet. There was a huge blizzard raging outside, but we couldn't afford to lose a day's worth of pay. So I ventured out into the blizzard and made the long trudge to work anyway. As usual, my feet were drenched and freezing within minutes of leaving my apartment, but there was no choice but to just stick it out. So I kept going. I finally arrived at work to find the place closed. Nobody had called to tell me. There was nothing to do but turn around and make the long trudge back home. By the time I got home, I knew that something was seriously wrong with my feet. They felt horrible. My father helped me out of my drenched boots and socks and we discovered that my feet were all purple and swollen. They were severely frostbitten.
My father was terrified to take me to the emergency room because that would have bankrupted us. So he did everything he could to try and rewarm my feet at home. He spent the next several days giving me hot chocolate, bundling my feet up in blankets, putting my feet on his stomach, etc. But nothing did any good. My feet didn't get any better. They just kept getting worse. They eventually turned black and began to ooze. At that point, my father broke down and called a car service to take us to the hospital. The doctors told us that, given the extent of the damage, they would not able to save my feet. The frostbite had progressed too far. I ended up having both of my feet amputated.
For the next whole month, my father didn't do anything but sob. He sobbed himself to sleep every night. He blamed himself for me losing my feet. I rolled myself into his room on my wheelchair every night and wrapped my arms around him as tight as I could. I told him that it wasn't his fault and that I didn't blame him for anything. I told him he was the best father any girl could ever have and that I wouldn't trade him for anything. I think it helped a little in the moment, but as time went on, he just fell further and further into depression.
On the morning of March 15th, 2010, I was awakened by a knock on the door from a police officer. He told me that my father was dead. I told the officer that was ridiculous and that there had been a mistake, but he insisted that my father was dead and that I should come with him. I went racing into my father's room as fast as my wheelchair could carry me, but he was gone. There was a note on his bed that he had left for me. In the note, he told me that he loved me dearly. He loved me more than anything, but that he had failed me. He told me that I would be better off without him. At that moment, my heart stopped as I began to realize what must have happened. Horrified, I made my way back to the police officer, and he told me that my father had jumped out the window of our apartment in the middle of the night. I went into shock and begged the police officer to let me see him, but he insisted that I wouldn't want to see him that way. I started sobbing so hard that the police ended up having to take me to the hospital.
I've cried myself to sleep every night since. I'll never understand how my father could have thought that I'd be better off without him. If only he had known how much I needed him. If it wasn't for my extremely kind hearted and caring neighbor, I don't know where I would be right now. She's such a sweet lady. After I lost my father, she took me in and took care of me as though I were her own family. She has gradually helped nurse me back to health, both physically and mentally.
This is probably going to sound really crazy, but throughout this past year, you have been one of my heroes, Michael. As devastating as the truth of your words may be, it is refreshing that somebody has the good sense and the good judgement to come forward and say them. All the government and the media do is lie to us, every single day. I only wish more people would listen to you and heed your warnings. Feel free to post my story on your blog if you would like. You have my permission to do so. I just ask that you not reveal my full name and my email address. Just use my first name. Perhaps my story will serve some purpose in the way of helping to wake some of these idiots up and getting them to realize that this nightmare is real.
Best Regards,
Ashley

Never give up

For Someone I know



I know I haven't written in a while and even I stop myself to contact you. I'm not sure why. Several times I saw your number on my contact list,wanna touched on the call button but I ended and then sat staring at the screen while my mind goes blank and uncertain. Is it possible to have our last yesterday's moment?

I suppose the important thing is I'm here now. I was inspired by a girl who have blogged about her life and being suffered of a debilitating neurological disease called Guillain Barre Syndrome who is going through a rough moment for almost 14 years.God bless her. This is such a terrifying experience that we won't even attempt to put it in words if we had to faced her situation.

Reading her blog made me cry harder than I have in a long time as I relived my own experience, remembering just how scared he was, and fearful of the unknown. She had resigned herself to death at one point. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and here is another young boy I know facing the same thing. It just doesn't seem fair but god have plan everything. This is his fate and I hope he will keep on fighting and never give up.

But, as we all know too well, all we can do is fight back. I hope that I am able to help the precious young boy with my words. I know that it's a very difficult thing to come back from, and it's very easy to just give in and say "fine, you win". There is lots of pain, and lots of what seems like failure. Every day is a new challenge, and there is so much that goes into the process of recovery after your entire body has been shut down that the mind boggles at where to start first. You lose balance, coordination, reflexes, sensation, motor skills.. the list is so long and depressing and won't even attempt to finish. For anyone that has never experienced trying to come back from that, there is no way to even begin to imagine the difficulty. Had I known back then what I know now, I would have never let him give up for one second.

Never give up young boy. That is all I can offer to anyone who finds themselves at the raw end of this deal. Just never give up. Fight, and fight hard. Imagine you are training for something, like climbing Mount Everest, or whatever it takes to give you that inspiration and fight within you that won't allow you to give in. Don't let this horrible disease win. Just don't.

The story about this little girl blog is she is still struggle daily with the fight, and it has been almost 14 years. But, in his case, I truly believe he wouldn't still be in this shape had never given up in the first place. Never let the disease defeat you boy for a time, and put yourself that much farther behind. Now, instead of working from the ground up, you've been backtracking. Nevertheless, you'll getting better.

The body is an amazing machine, and it wants to work properly. If you give it something it needs to do, it will figure out a way to do it, against all odds.

This post is for you,young boy. You brought me out of hiding and inspired me to write, and I look forward to hearing more from you about your progress.