Living with sadness

“What if I don’t get up?” he said to sadness.

“What if I just live in my sleep from this moment on?
“You can’t do that, Jonathan,” sadness
whispered. “I’m sorry,

but it’s time to get up.”
He wondered why he had to feel this
way. This empty. The last thing he felt
as he fell into bed was sadness. Each
morning, it was sadness who woke him.
“Why don’t I love you?” Jonathan asked.
“We spend every day together, but I
never get used to having you around.”
“You’re not meant to love me.” sadness
replied. “That’s not how it works. If you
loved me, you’d never let me go, even
when it’s my time to leave you.”
“But I’m so lonely. Perhaps I should
love you, perhaps we can make it
work,” Jonathan said. “Would you love
me back if I learned to love you?”
Sadness lay still, pondering. “I too want
to be loved, but not like this. Not as
sadness. I’m like a caterpillar,
Jonathan. One day I’ll be something
new. Something beautiful. No longer
sadness, but joyfulness. Like a butterfly,
you’ll be delighted at my company. But
first I have to go away. I have to let the
change happen.
“Why don’t you go now?” he asked.
“Please go, I can’t bear having you
around like this. You tuck me into my
sleep. You wake me up each morning.
You follow me around throughout the
day. Please go away, sadness. Please.”
“I can’t,” sadness replied, crying. “I’m
so sorry Jonathan, but I can’t, not yet.”
“When, then?”
“Soon. Soon I’ll be gone. You’ll wake up
without me. For days. For weeks. For a
long time, and one day I’ll return
transformed. No longer as sadness, but
as joyfulness.”
Jonathan cried. His pillow holding his
heavy head, but nothing could hold his
heavy heart. “I long for joyfulness,” he
mumbled through his tears.
Sadness stood up, walked around the
bed, pulling back the covers. “You need
to get up now.”
Jonathan pulled the pillow over his
head. Trying to hide, although he knew
he couldn’t. He asked again, “Why can’t
I love you sadness . . . I just want to be
in love.”
“Don’t ever love me, Jonathan.” sadness
said softly, but sternly. “If you do,
you’ll never let me leave.”
“Then go, please. Leave me alone, I beg
you; leave, without another word.”
“Come,” sadness said, “It’s time for you
to get up now.”